It is common to have disturbing dreams for some period afterwards; or not be able to dream about the husband (or wife) at all; or to see the partner in the distance but not get near. In accepting the death, meeting any feelings of loss, grief, anger and continuing love, the dream may become as below.
The example both shows the resolution of the loss, but also the paradox felt at realising the meeting was an inner reality. Example: ‘A couple of months ago as I was waking I felt my husband’s arm across me and most realistically experienced my hand wrapping around his arm and turning towards him (which I had done so often in his lifetime) and saying “1 thought you had died. Thank God you have not.” Then I awoke alone and terribly shaken’ (Mrs I).
A critic might say this is only a dream in which a lonely woman is replaying memories of her dead husband’s presence for her own comfort—thus her disappointment on being disillusioned. Whatever our opinion, the woman has within her such memories to replay. These are reality.
The inner reality is of what experience was left within her from the relationship. Her challenge is whether she can meet this treasure with its share of pain, and draw out of it the essence which enriches her own being. That is the spiritual life of her husband.
The aliveness’ of her husband in that sense is also social, because many other people share memories of him. What arises in their own lives from such memories is the observable influence of the now dead person.
But the dead also touch us more mysteriously, as in the next example. Example: In a recent news programme on television, a man who survived a Japanese prisoner of war camp in Singapore had been given a photograph of children by a dying soldier he did not know.
The man had asked him to tell his family of his death, but did not give his name.
The photograph was kept for 40 odd years, the man still wanting to complete his promise but not knowing how. One night he dreamt he was told the man’s name. Enquiries soon found the family of the man, who had an identical photograph. See husband under family. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences
A woman is the intuitive, creative part of self. Whatever qualities, characteristics, and lessons that you associate with that person you may be learning about again. Pay attention.... The Dream Books Symbols
If he mistreats and upbraids you for unfaithfulness, you will hold his regard and confidence, but other worries will ensue and you are warned to be more discreet in receiving attention from men.
If you see him dead, disappointment and sorrow will envelop you.
To see him pale and careworn, sickness will tax you heavily, as some of the family will linger in bed for a time.
To see him gay and handsome, your home will be filled with happiness and bright prospects will be yours.
If he is sick, you will be mistreated by him and he will be unfaithful.
To dream that he is in love with another woman, he will soon tire of his present surroundings and seek pleasure elsewhere.
To be in love with another woman’s husband in your dreams, denotes that you are not happily married, or that you are not happy unmarried, but the chances for happiness are doubtful.
For an unmarried woman to dream that she has a husband, denotes that she is wanting in the graces which men most admire.
To see your husband depart from you, and as he recedes from you he grows larger, inharmonious surroundings will prevent immediate congeniality.
If disagreeable conclusions are avoided, harmony will be reinstated.
For a woman to dream she sees her husband in a compromising position with an unsuspected party, denotes she will have trouble through the indiscretion of friends.
If she dreams that he is killed while with another woman, and a scandal ensues, she will be in danger of separating from her husband or losing property. Unfavorable conditions follow this dream, though the evil is often exaggerated. ... Ten Thousand Dream Interpretation
A boss, partner, etc.; See “marry”... Dream Dictionary Unlimited
2. Unconscious feelings toward actual husband.
3. The “fertility” of ideas and creativity. ... New American Dream Dictionary
Example: ‘My recurring dream—some disaster is happening. I try to contact the police or my husband. Can never contact either. I try ringing 999 again and again and can feel terror, and sometimes dreadful anger or complete panic. I cry, I scream and shout and never get through! Recently I have stopped trying to contact my husband. I managed once to reach him but he said he was too busy and I would have to deal with it myself. I woke in a furious temper with him and kicked him while he was still asleep’ (Mrs GS).
The husband here depicts Mrs S’s feelings of not being able to get through’ to her man. This is a common female dream theme, possibly arising from the husband not daring to express emotion or meet his panner with his own feelings.
For Mrs S this is an emergency. Although the dream dramatises it, there is still real frustration, anger, and a break in marital communications.
Example: There were three of us. My husband, a male friend and 1, all nding small white enamel bikes. My husband proceeded slowly, first, with his back to us. Then my friend followed. Suddenly my friend ahead of me turned and gazed fully at me. He gave a glonous smile which lit up the whole of his face. I felt a great sense of well-being surge through me’ (Joan B).
The triangle: the example shows typical flow of feeling towards another male.
The other male here depicts
Joan’s desire to be attractive to other men. This is a danger signal unless one fully acknowledges ihe impulse.
Example: ‘I was with my husband and our three children. About 2 or 3 yards to our right stood my husband’s first wife —she died about a year before I first met him. I remember feeling she no longer minded me being with him, so I put my arms around him from the back, and felt more secure and comfortable with him’ (Mrs NS).
The first wife: the dreamer is now feeling easier about her husband’s first relationship.
The first wife represents her sense of competing for her husband’s affections, even though his ‘first woman’ was dead.
Example: ‘My dead husband came into my bedroom and got into bed with me to make love to me. I was not afraid. But owing to his sexual appetites during my married life with him I was horrified, and resisted him with all my might. On waking I felt weak and exhausted.
The last time he came to me I responded to him and he never came back again. This happened three times.
The last time I don’t think it was a dream. I was not asleep. I think it was his ghost’ (GL). Dead husband: in any experience of an apparently psychic nature, we must always remember the unconscious is a great dramatist. It can create the drama of a dream in moments. In doing so it makes our inner feelings into apparently real people and objects outside us. While asleep we lightly dismiss this amazing process as a dream’. When it happens while our eyes are open or we are near waking, for some reason we call it a ghost or psychic event. Yet the dream process is obviously capable of creating total body sensations, emotions, full visual impressions, vocalisation—what else is a dream? On the other hand, the dream process is not dealing in pointless imaginations. Many women tend to believe they have little sexual drive, so it is easier for GL to see her drive in the form of her husband. But of course, her husband may also depict how she felt about sex in connection with his ‘sexual appetites’.
It is a general rule, however, that our dream process will dramatise into a past life, or a psychic’ experience, emotions linked with trauma or sexual drive which we find difficult to meet in the present.
Example: ‘I dreamt many times I lost my husband, such as not being able to find the car park where he was waiting, and seeing him go off in the distance. I wake in a panic to find him next to me in bed. These dreams persisted, and then he died quite suddenly. He was perfectly healthy at the time of the dreams and I wonder if it was a premonition of me really losing him’ (Mrs AD). Cannot find husband: many middle aged women dream of ‘losing’ their husband while out with him, perhaps shopping, or walking in a town somewhere. Sometimes the dream ponrays him actually killed. Mrs AD wonders if her dream was a premonition.
It is more likely a form of practising the loss, so it does not come as such a shock.
The greatest shocks occur when we have never even considered the event—such as a young child losing its mother, an event it has never practised, not even in fantasy, so has no inbuilt shock absorbers. As most of us know, men tend to die before women, and this information is in the mind of middle-aged married women. Mrs AD may have unconsciously observed slight changes in her husband’s body and behaviour, and therefore readied herself.
Other woman’s husband: one’s own husband, feelings about that man, desire for a non-committed relationship with less responsibility. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences
To dream of having a husband when you are single points to relationships in general. Most girls look for their father’s personality or traits while choosing their life partners. Those traits often represent the male side of a girl’s character. All this is represented when a girl dreams of a husband with all those traits she admires or dreads.... Dream Symbols and Analysis
If you are an unmarried man dreaming of being a husband, then you are processing your aspirations/hopes/fears of one day being married.
If you are a married man, then this dream can represent your assimilation of the pressure of being the breadwinner.
If you are a married woman, this can also be your assimilation of your idealized husband versus the day to day reality, expectations and demands that you have of your actual husband.
If you are an unmarried woman, this dream may be your hope, fantasy, or “dream” of what your future husband will be.... Strangest Dream Explanations
If you fall in love with another woman’s husband, it indicates that you are growing vicious. ... Indian Interpretation of Dreams
If you dream of your real-life husband, your dream represents your emotions around this relationship. Look up other symbols, or feelings you had, in the dream for further meaning.... My Dream Interpretation
If you dreamed of being married when- you aren’t it signifies a serious lovers’ quarrel and/or a broken relationship.... The Complete Guide to Interpreting Your Dreams
If doubts about validity and intimacy are not properly resolved in her waking life, they will appear in dreams about the loss or death of her husband. They may also be projected onto other women’s husbands in dreams.
If your husband goes missing in your dream or you can’t find him while out with him, your unconscious may be referring to the well-known statistic that most men die before women.
If your husband is dead in both your dream and in your waking life, this refers to the memories you have shared with him.
If another woman’s husband appears, this may refer to a desire for a relationship outside your current one.
If you are having sex with your husband in your dream, this can be a wonderful indicator of how you are feeling about your sexual and emotional relationship with him.
If your first husband appears in your dreams, this represents nostalgia for the past, or more obliquely, competition for your current husband. See also Gay relationships in RELATIONSHIPS.... The Element Encyclopedia
If her doubts and fears about validity are not properly expressed, they will surface in dreams about the loss, or death, of her husband. Such fears may also be projected onto other women’s husbands, almost as though her own husband is too close to her.... Dream Meanings of Versatile
2. Masculine power.
3. Fertility symbol (note size). ... New American Dream Dictionary
The positive aspect of the penis/masculinity is for him to demand his woman meets his maleness, his canng aggression, his sexual desire, with her own fiery energy and strength. In general, direct reference to sexual feelings, fears, or problems. As these can be quite complex several examples are given below.
Example: ‘So for the third time I held the woman and made love.
The woman’s vagina was like a flower, I don’t mean to look at, but in physical sensation. My penis felt like it was penetrating petals of flesh and touching with great pleasure a central receptive area I was left with the feeling of being able to make love again and again without any negative effects. It was a very positive and healthy feeling’ (John T). John is feeling confident about his sexual drive. Although a powerful drive, subtle feelings and fears have an intense influence not only on the pleasure of sex, but also the response of the physical organs.
The relationship with the penis and sex act in one s dream shows what fears, hurts or attitudes are influencing the sexual flow. See castration.
In a woman’s dream, one’s relationship with, desire for, a mate; relationship with one’s own male self—ambition, work capability, aggression, intellect; depicts the relationship with, genital sexuality with, one’s panner. As with Sally in the next example, the events in the dream define the problem or relationship. Example: ‘My lover Terry, myself and another woman are all on our bed.
The other woman seemed very sure of herself and kissed Terry in a very intimate way, he doing the same to her as I lay very near to both of them. Then Terry stuck his bottom in the air and staned to lick my chest and breast. I found myself licking around the penis, felt I was under some kind of pressure from both the other two to do so but didn’t feel too shattered as I did it with love for Terry, but I had a bitter taste in my mouth’ (Sally P). In talking about this dream Sally said she often struggled with what she wanted and what her panner wanted in sex. She might go along with his needs, but not find it palatable. Even if she did do it with some love, it might have a bad taste in her mouth*.
Example: T felt as if I were as one with Terry and I realised he was trying to make a journey into his mother s vagina, as his penis. Her vagina looked like a long dark tunnel and was threatening to him. I said, “You haven’t given your mother satisfaction and you say you will not.” Then he was really smashed up in body. Withdrawing into a garden with a high green hedge. I took a leaf from the hedge and began to pull it apan with my hands. Terry said, “Look what you are doing, teasing me.” I felt withdrawal wasn’t the way and staned to follow him, walking alongside the hedge. I said, “It feels like you are strangling me, so why don’t you do it and kill me?” (We have been going through a lot of sexual withdrawal, Terry saying his sexuality was his to do with as he wanted.)’ (Sally P). This second dream of Sally’s is a shrewd summing up of Terry’s sexual fears. In fact Terry suffered a great deal of anxiety about sex, and later uncovered the son of fear and desire to avoid giving his mother satisfaction in becoming a full blooded man shown in the dream. Our unconscious is a very capable psychologist, and while Terry in Sally’s dream represents her insights regarding him—and must not be seen as a statement of fact about Terry—such insights are often enormously useful in dealing with relationship difficulties.
Example: ‘Was in a house with my wife. Outside the door was something which wanted to come into her—an invisible being. We were frightened and it said “Do not be afraid, I want you to put your penis in your wife and wait for me to activate you. In that way you will form a body for me.” I woke and realised the dream was moving me to parenthood. Already having three children I realised this would mean another 20 years of responsibility. Nevertheless my wife and I made love. Two weeks later I dreamt my wife was pregnant with a son. In fact nine months later she bore a son’ (Nigel I). In this interesting dream sequence the penis is Nigel’s drive to be a father. See castrate; bed; knob; pole; reptiles; sausage; examples in flower and tunnel. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences
A small penis may suggest that the man has little power or virility and thus is wimpy. Having your penis exposed in a dream may comment on your preoccupation with sex or with power... Ariadne's Book of Dream
To see an exceptionally huge penis symbolizes qualms and worries about your sexual energy, libido, and activities.... Dream Symbols and Analysis
If the penis is limp, then this represents feelings of powerlessness and emasculation.... Strangest Dream Explanations
If you dreamed that someone flashed you, or your dream was unpleasant, you are being warned that your reputation is in danger through your own indiscretions.... My Dream Interpretation
If seen through second or sexual chakra awareness, penis is given more emphasis and power than warranted. See Genitals, Vagina, Male, Female.... The Dream Books Symbols
A woman dreaming of having a penis is connecting deeply to her inner masculine on an archetypal level.
The same is true for a man, but without the archetypal meaning.... Complete Dictionary of Dreams
The same dream could mean that either she will benefit from the good qualities of her husband or he will benefit from her good qualities.... Islamic Dream Interpretation