If the former is the case, it may be obvious to you: recent encounters with your brother or sister, or some piece of news about him or her may be recognized as prompting the dream. Always be on the look-out, though, for those dreams where a brother or sister plavs a symbolic role. The dream source may choose its materials - its images - from your recent external experiences, but what those dream images represent is nearly always some part of yourself. So please read on.
(2) In early childhood a brother or sister is a natural object of jealousy and hatred. In the eyes of a small child the mother may seem to be favouring his or her sibling. When a second child is bom, the firstborn is especially likely to develop hostile feelings towards the new’ rival for mother’s attention and affection. Sometimes w’e carrv such jealous grievances (at an unconscious level) into adult life, w’here they continue to affect our behaviour and attitudes.
It is then imperative that w’e sort them out, face up to them, acknowledge them for w’hat they are, and so liberate ourselves from their damaging influence (see (3) below, second paragraph, on projections).
(3) An elder brother or sister (brother for a male dreamer, sister for a female dreamer) may represent your ‘other self (‘alter ego’), that side of your personality that has so far been neglected and undeveloped. Jung called it ‘the Shadow’’. We start adult life w’ith a self-image that is usually some sort of compromise between what w’e w’ant to be or do and w’hat parents or society at large seems to require of us.
If this self-image corresponds to our actual abilities, all may be well for a while; but a time mav come w hen wre need to give attention to other facets of our (potential) self. These other facets - our Shadow- - will show- themselves to us in dreams; and one form they take in dreams is that of an elder brother or sister.
People often project their shadow- on to a sibling of the same sex as themselves; and if it is not projected, it may express itself in all kinds of aw kward and embarrassing ways - astonishing rudeness, for example, or other antisocial behaviour. The contrast between your conscious ego and your alter ego mav be as startling as that between Jekvll and Hyde. Don’t be alarmed, though: remember alw-ays that your unconscious is vour ally - vour best friend - and even the most frightening or appalling things that reveal themselves in dreams as parts of vour unconscious are frightening or appalling, first, because of their unfamiliaritv and / or secondly, because, having been neglected and locked away in the dark, they tend to behave like a neglected child and mav become mutinous (on this phenomenon, see Demon). Pay proper attention and proper respect to them, and their threatening features will disappear; they will prove themselves valuable supplements to vour personal equipment for coping with life and achieving full satisfaction and wholeness. Introduce them into your consciousness, identify them and their needs, and give them a controlled and appropriate part to play in your waking life.
Incidentally, one test you can apply to check whether you have a neglected shadow-self is to ask yourself if there is some characteristic that you particularly dislike in other people (particularly your partner): a domineering tendency’, perhaps, or an over-liberal attitude, or whatever.
If there is (and of course you need a lot of honesty’ to admit this), then that characteristic is likely to belong to your shadow-self. We tend to project on to other people the dark, ‘nasty5 things that live in our own unconscious.
If something is going wrong in our life, we tend to put the blame on to other people, the government, or our parents; we look for some scapegoat to carry the blame. The blame, how ever, is ours, because we have not put our own house in order: we have not paid due attention to the demands of our unconscious and have not allowed our ‘other self proper scope for expression in our life.
(4) When a female dreams of a brother, or a male dreams of a sister, the brother / sister may represent w’hat Jung called the ‘soul-image’, w’hich is the masculine side of a woman’s personality (her animus) or the feminine side of a man’s personality (his anima). There would seem to be very basic differences between man and woman arising out of different biological functions (as well as less basic differences that owe their existence to social conditioning). There are w’hat have traditionally been called feminine qualities and capacities (such as gentleness, a caring disposition, creativeness, cooperativencss and relatedness, intuition) and, similarly, what have been called masculine qualities (such as aggressiveness and competitiveness, rationality’, and a tendency to analyse and look for differences). However, it is widclv accepted nowadays among psychotherapists that the male psyche also contains feminine qualities and the female psyche also contains masculine qualities, albeit often dormant and neglected, or repressed.
If you arc a man, do you admire the ‘masculine’ tv pc of woman? If vou do, vou may be in need of redressing the balance in vour psyche: vour feminine side
has possibly swamped your masculinity, and you now need to promote the latter. In your case, the anima will be rather masculine. This is just one instance of a general rule: the animus / anima will have the opposite characteristics to the conscious self-image.
Either male or female dreamers may find themselves in a dream in an heroic relationship to an anima / animus figure. A man may, in a dream, rescue a damsel in distress; a woman may waken a dead prince with a kiss. These should be seen as invitations to incorporate your anima / animus into vour conscious functioning, to rescue it from oblivion and neglect: to make Cinderella or the Frog-Prince your partner in life. Personal wholeness cannot be achieved without this. See also Cinderella, Frog, section (3), Marriage.
(5) A sister in a man’s dream or a brother in a woman’s dream may take the dreamer into some frightening abyss, to the bottom of the sea, or into a dark forest. This may represent the man’s anima or the woman’s animus leading the ego into the unconscious, to discover, for example, the deep emotional causes of a psychosomatic illness; the repressed rage that lies at the bottom of a chronic boredom; or the fount of energy or wisdom that can furnish a more fully satisfying existence. Literary and mythological representations of this can be found in the examples of Beatrice, who led Dante safely into hell and out again, and Ariadne, whose thread enabled Theseus to find his way out of the Cretan labyrinth after slaying the Minotaur. Both hell and labyrinths are symbols of the unconscious. See also Labyrinth, Monster, Underworld.
(6) Sometimes the anima / animus figure in a dream may appear in some way hostile or threatening. For example, in a man’s dream the anima may take the form of an enchantress, a femme fatale, seducing men into a lake or ocean. The watery depths may be seen as symbolizing the depths of the unconscious. The meaning of such a dream may be that the dreamer needs to explore his other - unconscious - self, despite (or, more accurately, because of) its frightening and threatening aspect. Water, however, is a symbol of the feminine, too. The meaning of the dream, therefore, might be that die dreamer is too heavily fixated on his mother and needs to liberate himself by asserting his masculinity and independence; in extreme cases the man might be in danger of being “possessed’ or ‘swallowed up’ by the feminine within his psyche. Such a dream may be, however, not a warning, but an invitation: the unconscious may be urging the man to get on better terms - equal terms - with the feminine side of his psyche. Give your anima / animus equality, and it will cease from its mutinous attempts to take over the whole of your psyche.
In the case of a woman, a dream may contain a male seducer: some Pied Piper animus figure. Again, the dreamer will have to decide whether such a dream is a warning or an invitation: a warning against being carried away by her masculinity (perhaps she has not resolved her early father fixation), or an invitation to discover and utilize her neglected masculinity. Commonsense and, above all, honesty should guide her to the correct understanding of the dream; and in any case, bear in mind what was said above about giving equality to the anima / animus.
(7) The unconscious compensates the conscious mind. It contains those qualities and capacities which the conscious mind lacks. In this sense it is the opposite of the conscious mind; hence its otherness, its alien appearance.
It follows, therefore, that the image that represents anima or animus in a dream may be the opposite of the psychological type to which the dreamer belongs. For example, if you are a woman of the intellectual type (i.e. if thinking is your strong point at the conscious level), your animus may be represented in dreams as a sentimental type (a romantic Don Juan, for instance).
If you are a sentimental woman (moved at the conscious level mainly by feelings - including moral feelings), your animus may show itself as a bearded professor or other intellectual figure.
If you are an intuitive woman (an artist, for instance), your animus mav take a muscular he-man form in dreams (the sensational type, functioning most strongly at the sensory level).
(8) If brother and sister appear together in a dream, this may symbolize either the tension of opposites, or the union of opposites. The opposites are the conscious and the unconscious contents of the psyche. Their union and interfusion are the means by which the self- the true self that is already within you but waits to be unfolded - is realized.
The appearance of this symbol will usually be an auspicious sign, meaning that, despite all appearances to the contrary, there is within you a latent and attainable order and harmony. But of course you - the conscious ego - must make that latent order real by paying loving attention to the needs of your unconscious opposite (like the prince who wakes the sleeping beauty with an embrace).... A Dictionary of Dream Symbols
If a woman dreams of a younger brother, it can express either her own or her brother’s rivalry or vulnerability, but if she dreams of an older brother, it might signify her extrovert self.
The sister in dreams usually represents the feeling, expressive side of your personality and you can make contact with that side of yourself by understanding your sister’s personality.
If a man dreams of older sisters, it can represent anxiety but also caring.
If the sister is younger, however, she can symbolize the vulnerable side of the male dreamer.
If a woman dreams of younger sisters, it can suggest rivalry, but if she dreams of older sisters, she may be concerned about her own practicality.... The Element Encyclopedia
It is common to have disturbing dreams for some period afterwards; or not be able to dream about the husband (or wife) at all; or to see the partner in the distance but not get near. In accepting the death, meeting any feelings of loss, grief, anger and continuing love, the dream may become as below.
The example both shows the resolution of the loss, but also the paradox felt at realising the meeting was an inner reality. Example: ‘A couple of months ago as I was waking I felt my husband’s arm across me and most realistically experienced my hand wrapping around his arm and turning towards him (which I had done so often in his lifetime) and saying “1 thought you had died. Thank God you have not.” Then I awoke alone and terribly shaken’ (Mrs I).
A critic might say this is only a dream in which a lonely woman is replaying memories of her dead husband’s presence for her own comfort—thus her disappointment on being disillusioned. Whatever our opinion, the woman has within her such memories to replay. These are reality.
The inner reality is of what experience was left within her from the relationship. Her challenge is whether she can meet this treasure with its share of pain, and draw out of it the essence which enriches her own being. That is the spiritual life of her husband.
The aliveness’ of her husband in that sense is also social, because many other people share memories of him. What arises in their own lives from such memories is the observable influence of the now dead person.
But the dead also touch us more mysteriously, as in the next example. Example: In a recent news programme on television, a man who survived a Japanese prisoner of war camp in Singapore had been given a photograph of children by a dying soldier he did not know.
The man had asked him to tell his family of his death, but did not give his name.
The photograph was kept for 40 odd years, the man still wanting to complete his promise but not knowing how. One night he dreamt he was told the man’s name. Enquiries soon found the family of the man, who had an identical photograph. See husband under family. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences
A woman is the intuitive, creative part of self. Whatever qualities, characteristics, and lessons that you associate with that person you may be learning about again. Pay attention.... The Dream Books Symbols
If he mistreats and upbraids you for unfaithfulness, you will hold his regard and confidence, but other worries will ensue and you are warned to be more discreet in receiving attention from men.
If you see him dead, disappointment and sorrow will envelop you.
To see him pale and careworn, sickness will tax you heavily, as some of the family will linger in bed for a time.
To see him gay and handsome, your home will be filled with happiness and bright prospects will be yours.
If he is sick, you will be mistreated by him and he will be unfaithful.
To dream that he is in love with another woman, he will soon tire of his present surroundings and seek pleasure elsewhere.
To be in love with another woman’s husband in your dreams, denotes that you are not happily married, or that you are not happy unmarried, but the chances for happiness are doubtful.
For an unmarried woman to dream that she has a husband, denotes that she is wanting in the graces which men most admire.
To see your husband depart from you, and as he recedes from you he grows larger, inharmonious surroundings will prevent immediate congeniality.
If disagreeable conclusions are avoided, harmony will be reinstated.
For a woman to dream she sees her husband in a compromising position with an unsuspected party, denotes she will have trouble through the indiscretion of friends.
If she dreams that he is killed while with another woman, and a scandal ensues, she will be in danger of separating from her husband or losing property. Unfavorable conditions follow this dream, though the evil is often exaggerated. ... Ten Thousand Dream Interpretation
A boss, partner, etc.; See “marry”... Dream Dictionary Unlimited
2. Unconscious feelings toward actual husband.
3. The “fertility” of ideas and creativity. ... New American Dream Dictionary
Example: ‘My recurring dream—some disaster is happening. I try to contact the police or my husband. Can never contact either. I try ringing 999 again and again and can feel terror, and sometimes dreadful anger or complete panic. I cry, I scream and shout and never get through! Recently I have stopped trying to contact my husband. I managed once to reach him but he said he was too busy and I would have to deal with it myself. I woke in a furious temper with him and kicked him while he was still asleep’ (Mrs GS).
The husband here depicts Mrs S’s feelings of not being able to get through’ to her man. This is a common female dream theme, possibly arising from the husband not daring to express emotion or meet his panner with his own feelings.
For Mrs S this is an emergency. Although the dream dramatises it, there is still real frustration, anger, and a break in marital communications.
Example: There were three of us. My husband, a male friend and 1, all nding small white enamel bikes. My husband proceeded slowly, first, with his back to us. Then my friend followed. Suddenly my friend ahead of me turned and gazed fully at me. He gave a glonous smile which lit up the whole of his face. I felt a great sense of well-being surge through me’ (Joan B).
The triangle: the example shows typical flow of feeling towards another male.
The other male here depicts
Joan’s desire to be attractive to other men. This is a danger signal unless one fully acknowledges ihe impulse.
Example: ‘I was with my husband and our three children. About 2 or 3 yards to our right stood my husband’s first wife —she died about a year before I first met him. I remember feeling she no longer minded me being with him, so I put my arms around him from the back, and felt more secure and comfortable with him’ (Mrs NS).
The first wife: the dreamer is now feeling easier about her husband’s first relationship.
The first wife represents her sense of competing for her husband’s affections, even though his ‘first woman’ was dead.
Example: ‘My dead husband came into my bedroom and got into bed with me to make love to me. I was not afraid. But owing to his sexual appetites during my married life with him I was horrified, and resisted him with all my might. On waking I felt weak and exhausted.
The last time he came to me I responded to him and he never came back again. This happened three times.
The last time I don’t think it was a dream. I was not asleep. I think it was his ghost’ (GL). Dead husband: in any experience of an apparently psychic nature, we must always remember the unconscious is a great dramatist. It can create the drama of a dream in moments. In doing so it makes our inner feelings into apparently real people and objects outside us. While asleep we lightly dismiss this amazing process as a dream’. When it happens while our eyes are open or we are near waking, for some reason we call it a ghost or psychic event. Yet the dream process is obviously capable of creating total body sensations, emotions, full visual impressions, vocalisation—what else is a dream? On the other hand, the dream process is not dealing in pointless imaginations. Many women tend to believe they have little sexual drive, so it is easier for GL to see her drive in the form of her husband. But of course, her husband may also depict how she felt about sex in connection with his ‘sexual appetites’.
It is a general rule, however, that our dream process will dramatise into a past life, or a psychic’ experience, emotions linked with trauma or sexual drive which we find difficult to meet in the present.
Example: ‘I dreamt many times I lost my husband, such as not being able to find the car park where he was waiting, and seeing him go off in the distance. I wake in a panic to find him next to me in bed. These dreams persisted, and then he died quite suddenly. He was perfectly healthy at the time of the dreams and I wonder if it was a premonition of me really losing him’ (Mrs AD). Cannot find husband: many middle aged women dream of ‘losing’ their husband while out with him, perhaps shopping, or walking in a town somewhere. Sometimes the dream ponrays him actually killed. Mrs AD wonders if her dream was a premonition.
It is more likely a form of practising the loss, so it does not come as such a shock.
The greatest shocks occur when we have never even considered the event—such as a young child losing its mother, an event it has never practised, not even in fantasy, so has no inbuilt shock absorbers. As most of us know, men tend to die before women, and this information is in the mind of middle-aged married women. Mrs AD may have unconsciously observed slight changes in her husband’s body and behaviour, and therefore readied herself.
Other woman’s husband: one’s own husband, feelings about that man, desire for a non-committed relationship with less responsibility. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences
To dream of having a husband when you are single points to relationships in general. Most girls look for their father’s personality or traits while choosing their life partners. Those traits often represent the male side of a girl’s character. All this is represented when a girl dreams of a husband with all those traits she admires or dreads.... Dream Symbols and Analysis
If you are an unmarried man dreaming of being a husband, then you are processing your aspirations/hopes/fears of one day being married.
If you are a married man, then this dream can represent your assimilation of the pressure of being the breadwinner.
If you are a married woman, this can also be your assimilation of your idealized husband versus the day to day reality, expectations and demands that you have of your actual husband.
If you are an unmarried woman, this dream may be your hope, fantasy, or “dream” of what your future husband will be.... Strangest Dream Explanations
If you fall in love with another woman’s husband, it indicates that you are growing vicious. ... Indian Interpretation of Dreams
If you dream of your real-life husband, your dream represents your emotions around this relationship. Look up other symbols, or feelings you had, in the dream for further meaning.... My Dream Interpretation
If you dreamed of being married when- you aren’t it signifies a serious lovers’ quarrel and/or a broken relationship.... The Complete Guide to Interpreting Your Dreams
If doubts about validity and intimacy are not properly resolved in her waking life, they will appear in dreams about the loss or death of her husband. They may also be projected onto other women’s husbands in dreams.
If your husband goes missing in your dream or you can’t find him while out with him, your unconscious may be referring to the well-known statistic that most men die before women.
If your husband is dead in both your dream and in your waking life, this refers to the memories you have shared with him.
If another woman’s husband appears, this may refer to a desire for a relationship outside your current one.
If you are having sex with your husband in your dream, this can be a wonderful indicator of how you are feeling about your sexual and emotional relationship with him.
If your first husband appears in your dreams, this represents nostalgia for the past, or more obliquely, competition for your current husband. See also Gay relationships in RELATIONSHIPS.... The Element Encyclopedia
If her doubts and fears about validity are not properly expressed, they will surface in dreams about the loss, or death, of her husband. Such fears may also be projected onto other women’s husbands, almost as though her own husband is too close to her.... Dream Meanings of Versatile
If his relationship with them was estranged, it will be re-established.... Islamic Dream Interpretation
2. Someone to call on for special help. ... New American Dream Dictionary
If you dream that your sister has died: your life will take a turn for the worse. Saying goodbye to your sister: you will be on your own in the near future. Seeing a nun: you will receive help in a dire situation.
A woman dreaming about a nun: be more helpful to others. See Nun.
Depth Psychology: If you have a sister, the dream will reveal the real relationship you have with her. Sometimes the dream may refer to character traits that, while similar, do not quite match those of your sister. See Siblings.... Dreamers Dictionary
If you do not have a sister and dream that you have one, then it implies that you possess certain qualities that you have not discovered as of yet. Consider what the sister is saying and doing.... Dream Symbols and Analysis
If you don’t have a sister, then this dream reflects someone with whom you share a kinship, a sisterly bond where your secrets are safe and you feel nurtured.
For some a sister represents rivalry or competition. Consider the feeling tone.... Strangest Dream Explanations
If she is younger then she can epitomize the more vulnerable side of him. In a woman’s dream if the sister is younger, she can represent rivalry.
If older she stands for capability.... Dream Meanings of Versatile
If you two have different relationships with your parents, your dream may be calling attention to your feelings about that. Or, someone you just met could have qualities similar to your sister.
If you do not have a sister and dream that you have one, then it signifies some qualities that you need to find or develop within your own self. Pay attention to the actions and behavior of your dream sister, for they are your biggest clue about what those qualities might be.... My Dream Interpretation
For a man, it signifies emotional security, but for a woman, it portends domestic disagreements.
An objective dream of sibling unity between sisters is an indication of emotional stability.... The Complete Guide to Interpreting Your Dreams
This kind of dream can also acknowledge one’s close feelings with others who are like a sister.... Dream Symbols in The Dream Encyclopedia
The feminine side of the dreamer, the emotional side. According to Steckel and Freud, breasts.... Little Giant Encyclopedia
If you are arguing with your sister-in-law, it may imply that you refuse to accept that you both have certain aspects or attributes in common.... Dream Symbols and Analysis
If you do not have step-brothers and step-sisters in waking life, this may indicate a lack of intimacy and connection in your current social circle. See also RELATIONSHIPS.... The Element Encyclopedia
The same dream could mean that either she will benefit from the good qualities of her husband or he will benefit from her good qualities.... Islamic Dream Interpretation