Dream Interpretation Intimacy | Dream Meanings


Dreams of intimacy denote a desire for closeness, and to know and be known. This could be wordplay for into-me-I-See, the desire to have an authentic connection with yourself. See Sex.

Strangest Dream Explanations | Dream Explanations - Anonymous


Dreaming Of Intimacy | Dream Interpretation

The keywords of this dream: Intimacy

Flirtation

1. Desire for intimacy, love and attention.

2. Good fortune and happiness. ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Hook

1. Gifts or important finds are in the offing.

2. A need for the attributes of whatever gets caught by the hook being used.

3. Feelings that a preoccupation with something or someone is not a good or helpful idea (as in “get hooked”).

4. Possible issues regarding intimacy or intimate relationships, trust. ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Lavender

1. Peace and serenity, emotional healing.

2. Sense that sadness and difficulties will soon end.

3. Intimacy, openness, communication. ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Negligee

1. Transparency, often regarding emotions; vulnerability, usually regarding actions or intentions.

2. A desire to be noticed, admired.

3. A desire or need for intimacy. ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Pornography

1. Intimacy issues.

2. A need for release, usually emo­tional energy.

3. Need or desire to not take sexuality so seriously. ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Recluse

1. Withdrawal from the world, a mistrust of human rela­tionships, fear of intimacy, often unintentional.

2. A withdrawal for the purpose of healing—sometimes from difficult relation­ships, usually from intense emotional situations. ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Voyeurism

1. Disassociation from desire, affection—often emo­tional.

2. Shyness, afraid of intimacy (to watch). ... New American Dream Dictionary

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New American Dream Dictionary

Closet

(Safe) In a dream, a closet represents one’s wife, a hide-out, protection or a veil. Ifone sees his closet destroyed in a dream, it may mean the death of his wife. Acloset in a dream also represents a made, keeping secrets, confidentiality or intimacy between husband and wife, protecting the reputation of chaste women, beautiful garments or it could represent the day and the night.

If one puts something in a closet in a dream, it means that he will find it there when he needs it.... Islamic Dream Interpretation

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Islamic Dream Interpretation

Bathing

Symbolic of cleansing yourself, Ex. 30:19-21. Also symbolic of a place of intimacy and exposure, 2 Sam. 11:2 ... Christian Dream Symbols

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Christian Dream Symbols

Bed

A place of intimacy, Heb. 13:4, rest, or privacy, 2 Kings 6:12. If a person is sick in bed it can symbolize a sinful lifestyle, Ezek. 23:17.

A fragrant, clean bed is symbolic of righteous living, Prov. 7:17 ... Christian Dream Symbols

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Christian Dream Symbols

Kissing

Symbolic of love, affection, and intimacy, Song. 1:1-2... Christian Dream Symbols

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Christian Dream Symbols

Shower

Being in the shower or seeing someone shower in a dream is a symbol of exposure, or intimacy... Christian Dream Symbols

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Christian Dream Symbols

Abdomen

Example: The people watching are saying “Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!” Then someone finds an extra bullet, puts it in the gun and shoots me in the stomach. I wake with my body completely straight with my hands on my stomach. I feel my whole body cracking up inside’ (Vanessa). Almost half the dreams on file which mention abdomen, belly or stomach show the dreamer being shot, as in the example. This is obviously to do with a particular type of hurt. When human beings learned to stand up, they exposed their vulner­able underbelly.

If we are hurt or threatened we tense the pelvic and abdominal area. Vanessa wakes to just such ten­sion, with a sense of her body being fragmented.

The opposite is to dream of waves of pleasure moving within us, which gives us a sense of integration within ourself and with the world.

In general the abdomen represents the potential of our fully active natural drives—hunger, longing to be held; desire to give of ourself.

If these are hurt, we tend to hold ourself back from active social expression or intimacy of feelings in relationships. Our abdomen is also our digestive ability, both physical and psychological. Stomach or abdominal dreams may refer to some dis-ease in the actual organs. We might not be able to stomach something we have met in the everyday world.

To vomit: a discharging of unpleasant feelings resulting from ingesting (hearing, reading, being told, experiencing) something unpleasant.

In her dream Vanessa was re-enacting the Hungerford di­saster, and feeling the fear it engendered. Shot in the belly, sex; painful response to relationship. Idioms: bellyaching; have a bellyful; eyes bigger than one’s belly, have a strong stomach; turn one’s stomach; butterflies in stomach. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Alcohol

An influence which changes the way we feel, mov­ing us towards negative or positive feelings; prelude to friend­liness or intimacy, an allowing into our life of another influ­ence we do not immediately feel is our own conscious will; in a religious sense the wine represents a life-changing influ­ence. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Beach

Family gathenngs or relaxation and intimacy. Also a boundary, or threshold—to go further we would have to swim or take a boat, so a change is needed, new qualities must be developed.

The threshold is a great tester of confidence and daring. It also confronts us with the vastness of life processes, space, eternity, which we stand on the brink of. How we deal with changing from one environment—school, work—to an­other such as parenthood or retirement.

The beach might be the place where aspects of the unconscious meet us, out of the sea. See sea. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Bed, Mattress

Example: ‘I sit on a bed. Near me, looking at a book I am holding is a woman I know, Jane. I realise as we talk that her foot is touching mine. As my wife is on my left across the room I feel uncomfonable about this. Now Jane has her left hand on my penis. I have only underpants on.

The contact is pleasant and undemanding, but I feel more and more ill at ease. I feel Jane is not having any respect for my relationship with my wife and stan to tell her so’ (Mr BS). In the example the bed is the environment in which the action takes place.

The bed is an opportunity to explore the dream­er’s decisions about sex.

Bed is one of the commonest symbols in dreams. It repre­sents, depending on the dream context, marriage; sex, rest, giving up and taking to one’s bed, passivity; sensual rather than sexual contact; sickness, intimacy, privacy. Sometimes it represents sleep and meeting or unconscious—or torture, be­cause in bed we may be tortured by insomnia, worries, physi­cal pain. Also our lives—you’ve made your bed, now lie on it. Bed is an important symbol to understand. It so often shows exactly what we are doing in our subtle areas of relationship. In the example, the man is wrestling with his desire for plea­sure and his sense of commitment; but also, whether he will keep his pleasure for himself, or share it with his wife. See example in contraceptive. Idioms: bed of nails; bed of roses; go to bed with; make one’s bed and lie on it. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Clothes

Example: I am packing for a holiday, surrounded by a lovely selection of all sorts of clothes. I am matching outfits, shoes, scarves, handbags. It gives me great pleasure. I am wearing an old navy blue dress which is too shon for me. So shon I feel panic because there will not be enough time to change. I am now on the top deck of a bus. I have one bat­tered suitcase and am wearing the same dress, trying vainly to pull it down over my knees. Suitcase bursts open and it is full of old clothes fit for a jumble sale* (Valerie H). Clothes can mean many things, depending upon dream context. In the example the clothes are feelings of pleasure and confidence, and also discomfort and lack of confidence.

In general they indicate the stance or attitudes we use to meet other people or special situations such as work or dan­ger, protection, such as might be given by our feelings of reserve, shyness, anxiety or aggressiveness in fending off sex­ual or other advances, clothes depict self respect and how we see ourselves in society—the difference between what we want and what we feel others want of us; our clothes, espe­cially when we consider their colour, can also express our emotional condition and moods. Constance Newland gives the example of dressing in violet symbolising being inviolate sexually. Overdressed , unable to get clothes off: too cautious in relationships, difficulty in changing attitudes or self image; self protectiveness; avoiding intimacy.

Naked or see-through clothes: example: ‘I am at the doc­tor’s being examined.

It is always the same. I have all my clothes off and he examines me from the roots of my hair down to my toenails. I am just at the point where I am going to ask him for his diagnosis when he fades away’ (Miss L). Desire to be attractive and noticed, as in the example, where Miss L is enjoying an acceptable form of intimacy; being open about what you really feel; fear of other people seeing what you really feel, think and desire; anxiety about not being ade­quate socially, lacking ability to conform to social norm. See nude. Ragged or inappropriate clothes: feelings of inadequacy depressed feelings; rebellion against authority or society. Ar­mour, protective clothing : defences against internal anxieties, past hurts and external intimacy. Other people’s clothes: the social attitudes and responses we have adopted from others. Children’s, teenage clothes in adult’s dream: youthful or im­mature attitudes or behaviour. Undressing: revealing one’s real character; move towards intimacy. Dirty, untidy clothes: difficult or grubby feelings; one’s inner condition, such as an untidy mind, or grubby feeling values. Worn out or old clothes: attitudes ready to be left behind; old habits no longer useful; feeling worn out, old or tired. Tight clothes: being too restricted in attitude; being tight emotionally. New clothes: change in attitudes; new feeling about self. Someone else’s clothes: could be feelings from that person; their attitudes, memories. Man in woman’s clothes: unacceptability of male role, with its connection with breadwinning, aggression, being cannon fodder in war, homosexual tendency; desire for mother. Woman in male clothes: unacceptability of female role, motherhood, housewife; lesbian tendency; desire for fa­ther figure. Clothing inappropnate to dream surroundings: at­titudes or behaviour inappropriate to one’s situation. Chang­ing clothes: altering one’s mode of behaviour, role or mood. Idioms: dress to kill; dress up. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Coffee

Mostly social ritual; something stimulating. Offering, being offered coffee: friendship, intimacy; what we thirst for or desire. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Doctor

Our dependence upon authority figure for a sense of wholeness, or to deal with anxiety, the healing process within us—or the unconscious wisdom we have concerning our body’s needs and well being.

The doctor might give us advice, for instance; anxiety about health; desire for intimacy or to be looked at. Idioms: doctor something, have an animal doctored; doctor the accounts. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Dose

Intimacy, being made aware of; what one feels con­nected with or has ties with; near to, in the sense of making a decision—near to leaving home; close to, as ‘close to finding the solution’; a situation which is near at hand or being con­fronted or realised now. Idioms: at close quarters; close fisted, close on; close to home; that was close. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Dream Analysis

Sigmund Freud was the founder of modern therapeutic analysis of dreams. Freud encouraged clients to relax on a couch and allow free associations to arise in con­nection with aspects of their dream. In this way he helped the person move from the surface images (manifest content) of the dream to the underlying emotions, fantasies and wishes (latent content), often connected with early childhood. Be­cause dreams use condensation—a mass of different ideas or experiences all represented by one dream image or event— Freud stated that the manifest content was meagre’ compared with the ‘richness and variety’ of latent content.

If one suc­ceeds in touching the feelings and memories usually con­nected with a dream image, this becomes apparent because of the depth of insight and experience which arises. Although ideally the Freudian analyst helps the client discover their own experience of their dream, it can occur that the analyst puts to the client readymade views of the dream. Out of this has occurred the idea of someone else ‘analysing or telling us about our dream.

Carl Jung used a different approach. He applied amplifica­tion (see entry), helped the client explore their associations, used active imagination (see entry) and stuck to the structure of the dream. Because amplification also put to the client the information and experience of the therapist, again the dreamwork can be largely verbal and intellectual, rather than experiential.

In the approach of Fritz Perls (gestalt therapy) and Moreno (psychodrama), dream analysis is almost entirely experiential.

The person exploring the dream acts out or verbalises each role or aspect of the dream.

If one dreamt of a house, in gestalt one might stan by saying I am a house’ and then go on to describe oneself just as one is as the particular house in the dream.

It is important, even if the house were one existing externally, not to attempt a description of the external house, but to stay with the house as it was in the dream. This is like amplification, except the client gives all the information. This can be a very dramatic and emotional experience because we begin consciously to touch the immense realms of experience usually hidden behind the image. When successful this leads to personal insights into behaviour and creativity. See dream processing; amplification; gestalt dream work.

dream as a meeting place Any two people, or group of people who share their dreams, particularly if they explore the associated feelings and thoughts connected with the dream images, achieve social intimacy quickly. Whether it is a family sharing their dreams, or two fnends, an environment can be created in which the most profound feelings, painful and wonderful, can be allowed. Such exposure of the usually pri­vate areas of one s feelings and fears often presents new infor­mation to the dreamer, and also allows ventilation of what may never have been consciously expressed before. In doing so a healing release is reached, but also greater self under­standing and the opportunity to think over or reconsider what is discovered.

Herbert Reed, editor of the dream magazine Sundance, and resident in Virginia Beach, Va., initiated group dreaming ex­periments. It started because Reed noticed that in the dream groups he was running, when one of the group aired a prob­lem, other members would subsequently dream about that person’s problem. He went on to suggest the group should attempt this purposely and the resulting dreams shared to see if they helped the person with the problem.

The reported dreams often formed a more detailed view of the person’s situation. In one instance the group experienced many dream images of water. It aided the woman who was seeking help to admit she had a phobia of water and to begin thinking about learning to swim. In another experiment, a woman presented the problem of indecision about what college to transfer to and what to study. Her group subsequently said they were confused because they had not dreamt about school. Several had dreams about illicit sex. though, which led the woman to admit she was having an affair with a married man. She went on to realise that it was the affair which was underlying her indecision. She chose to end the affair and further her career.

Whatever may be underlying the results of Reed’s expen- ments, it is noticeably helpful to use the basic principles he is working with. They can be used by two people equally as well as a group—by a parent and child, wife and husband, busi­nessman and employee. One sets out to dream about each other through mutual agreement. Like any undertaking, the involvement, and therefore the results, are much more pro­nounced if there is an issue of reasonable importance behind the experiment. It helps if one imagines that during sleep you are going to meet each other to consider what is happening between you. Then sleep, and on waking take time to recall any dream. Note it down, even if it seems far removed from what you expected. Then explore its content using the tech­niques in dream processing.

Example: My wife and I decided to attempt to meet in our dreams. I dreamt I was in a room similar to the back bedroom of my previous marnage. My present wife was with me. She asked me to help her move the wardrobe. It reminded me of, but did not look like, the one which had been in that bed­room. I stood with my back to it, and reached my hands up to press on the top, inside. In this way I carried it to another wall. As I put it down the wood broke. I felt it ought to be thrown away’ (Thomas B). Thomas explored the dream and found he connected feelings about his first marriage with the wardrobe and bedroom. In fact the shabby wardrobe was Tom’s feelings of shabbiness at having divorced his first wife. In his first marriage, represented by the bedroom, he always felt he was married for life. In divorcing, he had done some­thing he didn’t like and was carrying it about with him. He says ‘1 am carrying this feeling of shabbiness and second best into my present relationship, and I need to get rid of it.’

dream as a spiritual guide Dreams have always been con­nected with the spiritual side of human experience, even though today many spiritual leaders disagree with consider­ation of dreams. Because dreams put the dreamer in touch with the source of their own internal wisdom and certainty, some conflict has existed between authoritative priesthood and public dreaming.

A lay person finding their own ap­proach to God in a dream might question the authority of the priests. No doubt people frequently made up dreams about God in order to be listened to. Nevertheless, despite opposi­tion, Matthew still dreamt of an angel appearing to him, Jo­seph was still warned by God to move Jesus; Peter still dreamt his dream of the unclean animals.

The modern scientific approach has placed large question marks against the concept of the human spirit. Study of the brain’s functions and biochemical activities have led to a sense of human personality being wholly a series of biological and biochemical events.

The results of this in the relationship between doctor and patient, psychiatrist and client, some­times results in the communication of human personality be­ing of little consequence. It may not be put into words, but the intimation is that if one is depressed it is a biochemical prob­lem or a brain malfunction.

If one is withdrawn or autistic, it is not that there is a vital centre of personality which has for some reason chosen to avoid contact, but that a biochemical or physiological problem is the cause—it’s nothing personal, take this pill (to change the biochemistry, because you are not really a person). Of course we have to accept that human personality must sometimes face the tragedy of biochemical malfunction, but we also need to accept that biochemical and physiological process can be changed by human will and courage.

In attempting to find what the human spirit is by looking at dreams, creativity stands out.

The spiritual nature may not be what we have traditionally considered it to be.

An overview of dreams and how dreamers relate to them suggests one amaz­ing fact. Let us call it the ‘seashell effect’. When we hear sounds in a shell that we hold to our ear, the noises heard seem exterior to oneself, yet they are most likely amplification of sounds created in our own ear, perhaps by the passage of blood. Imagine an electronic arcade machine which the player could sit in and, when running, the player could be engulfed in images, sounds, smell and sensation. At first there is shim­mering darkness, then a sound, and lights move. Is it a face seen, or a creature. Like Rorschach’s ink blots, the person creates figures and scenes out of the shapeless light and sound.

A devil appears which terrifies the player. People, de­mons, animals, God and angels appear and fade. Scenes are clearcut or a maelstrom of movement and ill-defined activity. Events arise showing every and any aspect of human experi­ence. Nothing is impossible.

If, on stepping out, we told the player that what occurred was all their own creation due to unconscious feelings, fears, habits, thoughts and physiological processes occurring within them, like the seashell effect, they might say ‘Good God, is that all it was, and I thought it was real. What a waste of time.’

Whether we can accept it or not, as a species we have created out of our own longings, fears, pain and perhaps vi­sion, God, with many different names—politics, money, dev­ils, nationalism, angels, an, and so on and on. All of it has flowed out of us. Perhaps we even deny we are the authors of the Bible, wars, social environments. Responsibility is diffi­cult.

It is easier to believe the source is outside oneself. And if we do take responsibility for our amazing creativity, we may feel ‘is that all it is—me?’ Yet out of such things, such fears, such drives, such unconscious patterns as we shape our dreams with, we shape our life and fonune, we shape our children, we shape the world and our future.

The shadow of fear we create in our dream, the situation of aloneness and anger, becomes a pattern of feelings, real in its world of mind. We create a monster, a Djinn, a devil, which then haunts and influences us. Or with feelings of hope, of purposiveness and love, create other forces in us and the world. But we are the creator. We are in no way separate from the forces which create our existence. We are those creative forces. In the deep­est sense, not just as an ego, we create ourselves, and we go on creating ourselves. We are the God humanity has looked so long for.

The second aspect of the human spirit demonstrated by dreams is consciousness.

The unconscious mind, if its func­tion is not clogged with a backlog of undealt with painful childhood experience and nonfunctional premises, has a pro­pensity to form gestalts. It takes pieces of experience and fits them together to form a whole. This is illustrated by how we form gestalts when viewing newsprint photographs, which are made up of many small dots. Our mind fits them together and sees them as a whole, giving meaning where there are only dots. When the human mind is working well, when the indi­vidual can face a wide range of emotions, from fear and pain to ecstasy, this process of forming gestalts can operate very creatively. This is because it needs conscious involvement, and if the personality is frightened of deep feeling, the uniting of deeply infantile and often disturbing cxpcrience is cut out. Yet these areas are very rich mines of information, containing our most fundamental learning.

If the process is working well, then one’s expenence is gradually transformed into insights which transcend and thereby transform one s personal life.

For instance, we have witnessed our own binh in some manner, we also see many others appeanng as babies. We see people ageing, dying. We see millions of events in our life and in others.

The uncon­scious, deeply versed in imagery, ritual and body language, out of which it creates its dreams, picks up information from music, architecture, traditional rituals, people walking in the street, the unspoken world of parental influence.

The sources are massive, unbelievable. And out of it all our mind creates meaning. Like a process of placing face over face over face until a composite face is formed, a synthesis of all the faces; so the unconscious scans all this information and creates a world view, a concept of life and death.

The archetypes Jung talks of are perhaps the resulting synthesis of our own expenence, reaching points others have met also.

If so, then Chnst might be our impression of humanity as a whole.

If we dare to touch such a synthesis of experience it may be seanng, breathtaking.

It breaks the boundaries of our present personality and con­cepts because it transcends. It shatters us to let the new vision emerge. It reaches, it soars, like an eagle flying above the single events of life. Perhaps because of this the great hawk of ancient Egypt represented the human spirit.

Lastly, humans have always been faced by the impossible.

To a baby, walking and not wetting its pants is impossible, but with many a fall and accident it does the impossible.

It is a god in its achievement.

To talk, to fly heavier-than-air planes, to walk on the Moon, were all impossible. Humans challenge the impossible every day. Over and over they fall, back into defeat. Many lie there broken. Yet with the next moment along come youngsters with no more sense than grasshoppers, and because they don’t know what the differ­ence is between right and left, do the impossible. Out of the infinite potential, the great unknown, they draw something new. With hope, with folly, with a wisdom they gain from who knows where, they demand more. And it’s a common everyday son of miracle. Mothers do it constantly for their children—transcending themselves. Lovers go through hell and heaven for each other and flower beyond who they were. You and I grow old on it as our daily bread, yet fail to see how holy it is. And if we turn away from it, it is because it offers no certainties, gives no authority, claims no reward.

It is the spir­itual life of people on the street. And our dreams remember, even if we fail.

For this is the body and blood of the human spirit.

dream as a therapist and healer There is a long tradition of using dreams as a base for both physical and psychological healing. One of the earliest recorded incidents of such healing is when Pharaoh’s ‘spirit was troubled, and he sent for all the magicians of Egypt and all its wise men; and Pharaoh told them his dream, but there was none who could interpret it’. Then Joseph revealed the meaning of the dream and so the healing of Pharaoh’s troubled mind took place (Genesis 41).

The Greek Temples of Asclepius were devoted to using dreams as a base for healing of body and mind (see dreams and ancient Greece).

The Iroquois Amerindians used a social form of dream therapy also (see Iroquoian dream cult).

The dream process was used much more widely throughout his­tory in such practices as Pentecostal Christianity, shaktipat yoga in India, and Anton Mesmer’s groups (see sleep move­ments).

Sigmund Freud pioneered the modern approach to the use of dreams in therapy, but many different approaches have developed since his work. Examples of the therapeutic action of gaining insight into dreams are to be found in the entnes on abreaction, recurring dreams, reptiles.

The entry on dream processing gives information about using a dream to gain insight and healing. See also dream as meeting place.

A feature which people who use their dreams as a thera­peutic tool mention again and again is how dreams empower them. Many of us have an unconscious feeling that any impor­tant healing work regarding our body and mind can only be undertaken and directed by an expert, the expert might be a doctor, a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or osteopath. Witness­ing the result of their own dream process, even if helped by an expert, people feel in touch with a wonderful internal process which is working actively for their own good. One woman, who had worked on her dream with the help of a fnend (non expert), said It gave me great confidence in my own internal process. I realised there was something powerful in myself working for my own good. It was a feeling of cooperating with life.’ One is frequently amazed by one’s own resources of wisdom, penetrating insight and sense of connection with life, as met in dreamwork. This is how dreams play a pan in helping one towards wholeness and balance.

The growing awareness of one’s central view of things, which is so wide, piercing and often humorous, brings developing self respect as the saga of one’s dreams unfolds.

There may be no hint of this, however, if a person simply records their dreams without attempting to find a deeply felt contact with their contents.

It is in the searching for associ­ated feelings and ideas that the work of integrating the many strands of one’s life begins. Gradually one weaves, through a co-operative action with the dream process, a greater unifica­tion of the dark and the light, the painful and transcendent in one’s nature.

The result is an extraordinary process of educa­tion. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Drill

Working through the emotions and fears which resist our insight; sex when there is little feeling contact or there are fears preventing intimacy. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Family

From our family we leam most of the positive and negative patterns of relationship and attitudes towards living, which we carry into daily events. Father’s uncertainty in deal­ing with people, or his anxiety in meeting change, may be the roots of our own difficulties in those areas.

If our mother is unable to develop a feeling contact with us, we may lack the confidence to meet our emotions.

Our maturation as a man or woman calls us in some way to meet and integrate our childhood desire, which includes sexual desire for our parent of the opposite sex, and rivalry with, mingled with dependence on, the parent of the same sex. Even a missing parent, the mother or father who died or left, is a potent figure internally.

An absence of a father’s or mother’s love or presence can be as traumatic as any power­fully injuring event. Our parents in our dreams are the image (full of power and feeling) of the formative forces and experi­ences of our identity. They are the ground, the soil, the bloody carnage, out of which our sense of self emerged. But our iden­tity cannot gain any real independence while still dominated by these internal forces of our creation. Heraclitus said we cannot swim in the same river twice; attempting to repeat or compete with the vinues of a parent is a misapprehension of the true nature of our own personality. Sec individuation.

Family group: The whole background of experience which makes up our values and views. This background is made up of thousands of different obvious and subtle things such as social status; amount of books in the home; how parents feel about themselves; how they relate to life outside the family; whether dominant roles are encouraged; what nationality par­ents are; what unconscious social attitudes surround the fam­ily (i.e. the master and servant, or dominating employer and subservient employee, roles which typified England at the turn of the century still colour many attitudes in the UK). Simply put, it is our internal ‘family’ of urges and values; the overall feeling tone of our family life—security, domination, whatever it was, the unconscious coping patterns of the fam­ily.

Parents together in dream: our general wisdom, back­ground of information and experience from which we make important decisions or gain intuitive insights. Parents also de­pict the rules and often irrational disciplinary codes we learnt as a child which still speak to us from within, and perhaps pass on to our own children without reassessment. These in­clude everything from ‘Don’t speak with your mouth full’ to the unspoken Masturbation is unholy/

Dead parent in dream: the beginning of independence from parent; repression of the emotions they engendered in us, our emotions regarding our parent’s death; feelings about death. See dead people dreams.

Example: ‘My father was giving me and another woman some medicine. Something was being forced on us. I started to hit and punch him in the genitals and, when he was facing the other way, in the backside. I seemed to be just the right height to do this and I had a very angry feeling that I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me’ (Audrey V). Hurting, burying , killing parent: in the example Audrey’s height shows her as a child. She is releasing anger about the attitudes and situations her father forced down her throat’.

To be free of the intro­verted restraints and ready made values gathered from our parents, at some time in our growth we may kill or bury them. Although some people arc shocked by such dreams, they are healthy signs of emerging independence. Old myths of killing the chief so the tribe can have a new leader depict this pro­cess. When father or mother are dead’ in our dream, we can inherit all the power gained from whatever was positive in the relationship. Seeing parent drunk, incapable, foolish: another means of gaining independence from internalised values or stultifying drives to ‘honour’ or admire father or mother.

father

Generally positive: authority; ability in the external world; family or social conventions, how we relate to the ‘doer’ in us; physical strength and protectiveness; the will to be. Generally negative: introvened aggression; dominance by fear of other people’s authority, uncaring sexual drive; feelings of not being loved. See father under archetypes; man.

mother

Generally positive: feelings; ability in relationships; uniting spirit of family; how we relate to feelings in a relation­ship; strength to give of self and nunure; intuition. Generally negative: will based on irrational likes and dislikes; opinion generated by anxiety or jealousy; domination by emotions; lack of bonding. See Great Mother under archetypes; woman.

siblings and children

Whether brother, sister, daughter or son (see below in this entry), the most general use in our dreams is to depict an aspect of ourself. However it is almost universal to believe with great conviction that our dream is about the person in our dream.

A mother seeing a son die in her dream often goes through great anxiety because there lurks in her a sense of it being a precognitive dream. Vinually everyone at some time dreams about members of their close family dying or being killed—lots of mothers dream this, and their chil­dren live till 80. But occasionally children do die. Is the dream then precognitive, or is it coincidental?

Example: ‘I was walking along a rather dusty track carrying my younger son who would be around 10 months old and I was feeling rather tired. Suddenly I met a man who stopped to talk to me and commented I looked rather weary carrying the baby. He said, come with me and look over this wall and you will see such a sight that will gladden your hean. By standing on tiptoe I could just see over the wall and the sight I beheld took my breath away, it was so beautiful’ (Johan E). Here Johan’s son depicts the weight of responsibility she feels.

The beauty is her own resources of strength in motherhood.

Example: ‘I have just given binh to twins and they lay on the floor. We started to care for them. My mother took them to the doctor for his advice while I went to see my married sister who has two children. I met them there with the twins so that my sister could give her opinion on the babies. She had recent experience of childbirth and could tell us if the babies were good specimens’ (Miss E). Miss E has no children of her own, so she is uncertain of her own capacity to have and raise them.

The mother depicts her own mothering abilities, which seek confidence from an authority figure. Her sister is her own nearest experience of childbirth. So out of what she has leamt from observing her sister, she is assessing her own qualities.

Most often the family member depicts the qualities in our­self which we feel are part of the character of the person dreamt of. So the passionate one in the family would depict our passions; the intellectual one our own mind, the anxious one our hesitations. Use the questions in dream processing to define this. Having done this, can you observe what the dream depicts? For Miss E it would be questions regarding mother­hood.

Example: ‘My daughter told me the only positive part of my work in a helping profession was with a woman who had turned from it to religion. There followed a long and powerful interchange in which I said she had as yet no mind of her own. She was dominated by her mother’s anxiety, and the medical rationalism of her training. When she had dared to step beyond her own anxieties to integrate the lessons of her own life, then I would listen again’ (Desmond S). Desmond was divorced and struggling with his own pain and guilt about leaving his daughter while still a teenager. His daughter de­picts this conflict between his feelings and his rational self.

brother

Oneself, or the denied pan of self, meeting whatever is met in the dream; feelings of kinship; sense of rivalry, feel­ings about a brother. Woman’s dream, younger brother: out­going but vulnerable self; rivalry. Woman’s dream, older brother, authority, one’s capable outgoing self. Man’s dream, younger brother: vulnerable feelings; oneself at that age. Man’s dream, older brother: experience; authority, feelings of persecution. See boy; man. Idioms: big brother, brothers in arms; blood brother.

sister

Feeling self, or the lesser expressed pan of self; rival; feelings about a sister. Man s dream, younger sister: vulnera­ble emotions; rival for love of parents. Man’s dream, older sister: capable feeling self; feelings of persecution. Woman’s dream , younger sister: one’s experiences at that age; vulnera­ble feelings, rival for parents’ love. Woman’s dream, older sister: capable feeling self. See girl; woman. Idioms: sisters under the skin.

daughter

One’s relationship with the daughter, the daughter, or son, can represent what happens in a marnage between husband and wife.

The child is what has arisen from the bonding, however momentary, of two people. In dreams the child therefore is sometimes used to depict how the relation­ship is faring. So a sick daughter might show the feelings in the relationship being ‘ill’.

In a mother’s dream: often feelings of suppon or compan­ionship; feelings of not being alone in the area of emotional bonds; or one’s feeling area; responsibility; the ties of parent­hood; oneself at that age; one’s own urges, difficulties, hurts, which may still be operative. Also a comparison; the mother might see the daughter’s youth, opportunity, and have feelings about that. So the daughter may represent her sense of lost opportunity and youth—even envy, competition in getting the desire of a man.

In a father’s dream: one’s feeling self, the feelings or diffi­culties about the relationship with daughter; the struggles one’s own feeling self goes through to mature, how the sexual feelings are dealt with in a family—occurs especially when she starts courting; sister, parental responsibility; one’s wife when younger. Someone else’s daughter: feelings about one’s own daughter, feelings about younger women.

Example: 1 am standing outside a supermarket with heavy bags wearing my mac, though the sun is warm. My daughter and two friends are playing music and everyone stops to lis­ten. I start to wnte a song for them, but they pack up and go on a bus whilst I am still writing. I am left alone at the bus stop with my heavy burden of shopping, feeling incredibly unwanted’ (Mrs F). Such dreams of the daughter becoming independent can occur as soon as the child starts school, per­sisting until the mother finds a new attitude. See child; woman.

son

Extroverted self; desires connected with self expression; feelings connected with son; parental responsibility. Mother’s dream: one’s ambitions; potential, hopes; your marriage—see example.

Example: ‘My wife and I were walking out in the country­side. I looked around suddenly and saw my four-year-old son near a hole. He fell in and I raced back.

The hole was narrow but very deep. I could see water at the bottom but no sign of my son. I didn’t know whether I could leap down and save him or whether it was too narrow. Then somehow he was out. His heart was just beating’ (Richard H). Richard had argued with his wife in such a way he feared the stability of their marriage.

The son represents what they had created together —a child, a marriage.

The marriage survived, as his dream self-assessed it would. Death of son: a mother often kills off her son in her dreams as she sees him make moves towards independence. This can happen from the first day of school on. Example: T am on a very high bridge over an extremely wide and deep river with steep banks. My son does a double somersault over the railing, falls into the water. I think he is showing off. I am unable to save him. My son is 18 and has staned a structural engineering course at university’ (Joyce H).

The showing-off suggests Joyce feels her son is doing daring things with his life, and the relationship in its old form dies.

Father’s dream: yourself at that age; what qualities you see in your son; your own possibilities, envy of youth and oppor­tunities; nvalry. Someone else’s son: feelings about one’s own son; feelings about younger men. Dead son: see dead people dreams. Sec boy. See also man; first example in falling.

wife

Depicts how you see the relationship with your wife; your relationship with your sexuality; sexual and emotional desire and pleasure; how you relate to intimacy in body, mind and spirit; your feeling, intuitive nature; habits of relationship developed with one’s mother. Example: ‘My wife was trying to get me out of her life, and out of the house. It was as if she were attempting to push me into a feeling of tension and rejection which would make me leave’ (David P). Out of childhood experience, in which his mother repeatedly threat­ened to give him away, David was finding it difficult to com­mit himself emotionally to his wife. In the dream his wife represents these feelings, so he sees her—his anxiety and pain —pushing him to break up the marriage.

Example: I was standing with my wife at the end of the garden of the house I lived in as a child. We were looking over the fence to the rising meadow beyond. She said, “Look at that bird in the tree there.” On our right, in a small ash tree, an enormous owl perched. It was at least 4 feet high, the biggest bird I have ever seen. I recognised it in the dream as a greater hooded owl, which was not native to our country. I was so excited I ran into the house to telephone someone— zoo, police, newspapers?—to tell them about the bird. I can­not remember contacting anyone, but felt the bird was there in some way to meet me. Also it was hungry and looking at next door’s bantams. So I wondered what I could give it to eat’ (David P). This shows the positive side of David’s rela­tionship with his wife.

The garden is the boundanes which arose from his childhood. But he is growing—the garden— and looking beyond them in connection with his marnage.

The amazing bird is the deep feelings he touches because he has a mate, like any other natural creature. Out of his mating he becomes aware of drives to build a home—nest—and give himself to his mate. These are natural and are a pan of his unconscious or spiritual nature.

The bird is a hooded owl which can see in the dark—the unconscious—because David is realising things he had never seen’ before.

The bird is masked, meaning putting the ego aside, which is a necessity for touching the wider dimension of life or the unconscious.

The hunger of the bird shows an intimate detail of what David has learnt from his wife. She had been working as a waitress and bringing home pieces of chicken for him, saved from her own meal.

The spiritual side of David wants to develop this quality of selfgiving, which his wife’s love had helped him see.

Example: ‘1 have been a widower since January 1979, hav­ing married in October 1941. I continually dream I am in London where my business was. I am walking the streets with my wife and suddenly I see her ahead of me in a yellow raincoat and hat. I call her and try to catch up, but suddenly she vanishes. In spite of calling and searching I cannot find her’ (Douglas G). This is a common theme dreamt by widow­ers or widows, disappearance of spouse. Douglas has ‘lost’ his wife. His dream shows the paradox of love after death of panner. His love is still there, years after her death. He is possibly still trying to love his wife as an externally real per­son. so his feelings can make no connection.

To meet what actually remains of his wife, within himself, he would need to face his own internal grieving, emotions, and all the feelings, memories, angers and beauty which make up the living re­mains of his wife within him. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Hall

Public or dance hall: how you relate to groups or the public; meeting sexuality, a place of initiation, maturing be­yond old habits, ways of life and views—perhaps because civic ceremonies such as marriage, trials, social rewards, take place in hall-like environments.

Hallway: the way one meets other people or allows them into one’s life or intimacy, the receptive female reproductive function, connecting link with aspects of oneself. Example: ‘I find myself in the entrance hall of a very large house.

The hall is very large with curved staircases at either side meeting at the top to form a balcony. There is nobody about and I am frightened. I stan to walk up the stairs but then find myself hiding in the roof with very little space above my body’ (Mrs B).

The hall is probably Mrs B’s childbearing ability and her image of herself as a woman.

The words ‘little space above my body’ suggest her main area of life has always been her childbearing function or physical attractiveness as a woman, and she had not developed her mental self. See also corridor; white under colour. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Head

Thoughts; opinions; intellect; decisions; intentions; self image. Fairly understandable from the huge number of idioms about head and face, such as lose one’s head/face’, so one might literally dream of a headless figure.

Face: self image; concerns about how others see you; ex­pression of or hiding of inner feelings and attitudes. Idioms: above one’s head; over one’s head; enter one’s head; get something into one’s head, go off one’s head, swollen or big head; head above water, head in sand, face the facts; face the music; face value; flat on one’s face; facelift; long face, poker face; blue in the face.

Ears: subtle information, rumours. Idioms: an ear for, all ears; reach one’s ears; flea in the ear, gain the ear of; ears burning; long ears; lend an ear, hear from; will not hear of, hearing things.

Eyes: how we see the world and ourself. Although eyes are not mentioned much in the collection of dreams used for data in this book, saw, see. seeing, look and looking, constitute the highest number of mentions. In a computer word count of 1,000 dreams, these words were mentioned 1,077 times. Feel, feeling, felt, came second, with 855 hits. So dreams are pre­dominantly a looking at and seeing activity, in the sense of insight and awareness.

Eyes are used in many ways in dreams. As these quotes show, eyes can represent the soul or psyche in its many moods-—dark deep eyes; desperation in its eyes; shining eyes; impersonal eyes; staring eyes; eye to eye. Example: 4I saw a young soldier with a gun, but as our eyes met we were at­tracted to each other, and he put his arm round me’ (Pauline B). As the example shows, eyes can represent the state of a relationship. Lack of eye contact: avoidance of intimacy. Closed eyes: introversion or avoidance of contact; not wanting to see. Example: I was dimly aware of a biggish black bird that came down close beside us on the step and pecked at the baby’s eye, then it flew olf.

The eye was gone completely’ (Heather C). Heather’s dream shows the eye depicting the T or identity. In fact her sense of self was damaged in infancy.

In many dreams the eyes represent our understanding, or how we ‘see’ the world, our view of things or other people; also intelligence; our attention; our boundaries of awareness. Blindness: not being aware, not wanting to see something— usually about oneself. Loss of sight in right eye : not seeing what is going on in the outside world. Loss of sight in left eye: not seeing what you are really thinking or feeling; not aware of self, motives, behaviour, no ‘in-sight’. Idioms: I see; can’t you see; you must be blind; I saw it with my own eyes; all eyes, eye opener, evil eye; sheep eyes; one in the eye; turn a blind eye.

Mouth: pleasure area; our hungers, sexual pleasure. Also, because we speak with our mouth and tongue, they can repre­sent what we say; a dream of our mouth being buttoned— button your lip—or sewed up could suggest that inwardly we regret having said cenain things and need to hold our tongue. Chewing: considering; mulling over something. Idioms: all mouth; a big mouth, nasty taste in the mouth; mouthwatering.

Nose: curiosity; intuition, as with ‘smell a rat’; penis. Idi­oms: have a nose for, nose out of joint; rub nose in it; up one’s nose.

Teeth: the ageing process as it relates to maturity. This is because we lose our first teeth as we leave childhood behind, and lose our adult teeth as we leave youthfulness behind. Also aggression; ability to ‘chew things over’. Bad tooth: a painful or rotten part of one’s feelings, life or relationships, angry or regretful words. Teeth falling out: example: ‘1 felt a tooth was loose and staned pushing it with my tongue. Then I took hold of it between thumb and forefinger and pulled it out. I felt okay about this, but then another tooth was loose, and an­other, and I pulled them out. Running to the bathroom I looked into the mirror, horrified and frightened. All my teeth were coming out. Not knowing how to deal with this I ran to my mother, showing her my mouth, empty now except for two teeth. My mother appeared not to see my lack of teeth, or notice my fear’ (Eve). Eve was 18 at the time of the dream. She explored it and found a fear of ageing and death. Also apprehension about maturing and facing independence and responsibility, loss of attractiveness. 1m Tofeeq, a Palestinian woman, told me that among the Arabs it is believed that if you dream of losing teeth it means your brother or son is in trou­ble. She had a dream in which three of her teeth fell out.

The next day she received a call from America to say her son had been shot in the head three times by a gunman.

A woman swallowing teeth: the throat and Eustachian tubes are like the uterus and Fallopian tubes, so can depict conception or fear of it. False teeth: lies told; false face; not keeping spoken promises. Idioms: show one’s teeth, get one’s teeth into; gnash one’s teeth; grit one’s teeth; teething trou­bles.

Tongue: speech, expression of what we feel; saying what is deep inside us, perhaps unknown to ourself; penis. Idioms: find one’s tongue; tongue in cheek; lose one’s tongue; sharp tongue; hold one’s tongue; forked tongue. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Holding

Example: ‘I am a prisoner in a room with three boys aged three, five and fourteen. They seem to be my chil­dren. There are two prison warders, a man, a woman.

The man was subservient to the woman who holds the keys and keeps control’ (Carol J). There are five aspects to holding.

To control, as in controlling or holding one’s breath’; to be able to manipulate, kill or do something with what is held; this includes holding on to something for support or protection.

Ownership—this is mine, to share or not.

In touch with, knowing; having a grasp’ of.

Responsibility, left ‘holding the baby’; one’s situation.

Intimacy, taking to oneself, taking hold of oneself, as in masturbation; as in the following example: ‘I was in a large removal van with a woman sac on my lap. I held her breasts with pleasure1 (Tony C).

Idioms: Get hold of; have a hold over someone; hold back; hold in. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

House

If the house is one we know, live in now or in the past, what is said about home applies.

If it is a house created by the dream: one’s body and personality in all its aspects.

Inside the house: within oneself. Outside the house and garden: extroversion or the relationship with environment. Ground floor: practical everyday life; sexuality, hips and legs. Basement : unconscious: see basement, cellar. First, other middle floors: internal needs, rest, sleep, hungers; the trunk. Top floor, attic: thinking, the conscious mind, memory, the head: see attic above in this entry. Front of house: our persona, facade; social self; face. Things in house: aspects of one’s feelings and makeup. Other people in^ house: different facets of dreamer. Windows : one’s outlook! on life; how you see others: see larger entry on window below in this entry. People, things coming from downstairs: influences, fears, impressions from unconscious or passions, or from everyday worries. Peo­ple, things from upstairs: influence of rational self. Attackers, intruders from outside: social pressures or response to criti­cisms. Repairs, enlargement, renovation: reassessment or change of attitudes or character; personal growth. Damage, structural faults: faults in character structure; hurts such as broken relationship; bodily illness. House falling down, burn­ing: big changes in attitudes; leaving old standards or depen­dencies behind; sickness: see last example in falling. Cramped house: feeling of need for personal change; feeling restricted in home environment or in present personal atti­tudes. Kitchen: creativity; nourishing oneself; mother role; diet: see cooking. Living room, personal leisure; space’ to be oneself, everyday life. Dining room: appetites, social or family contact; mental or psychological diet. Bedroom: pnvacy, sex; intimacy, rest: see bed under furniture. Study, library: mental growth, mind. Larder: hungers, sensual satisfaction. Toilet: privacy, release of tension; letting go of emotions, fantasies or desire which we need to discharge: see toilet. Nursery, child’s bedroom: feelings about your children; one’s own childhood feelings and memories. Floor: basic attitudes and confidence; what supports you, such as health and good will of others. Ceiling: boundary of ideas or awareness. Row of houses: other people. See room; stairs; wall; attic in this entry. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

House, Buildings

A house nearly always refers to oneself, depicting one’s body and attributes of personality. Thus if we take a large house with its many functional rooms, the library would represent the mind, the bathroom cleansing or renewal of good feelings, the bedrooms one’s sexuality or intimacy, the roof one’s protectiveness or ‘coping mechanisms’. Large pub­lic buildings such as hospitals, factories, blocks of flats, depict particular functions suggested by their nature. But of course, if the house or building has a personal connection—the house you live in, or place you have worked—then you need to define what are the essential feelings about such. Or see dream processing.

If a house or building has a quality of some other type of construction, such as a library feeling like a factory, or a house a church, both aspects should be ac­cepted as important. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Husband

Depicts how you see the relationship with your husband; your relationship with your sexuality; sexual and emotional desire and pleasure; how you relate to intimacy in body, mind and spirit; habits of relationship developed with one’s father.

Example: ‘My recurring dream—some disaster is happen­ing. I try to contact the police or my husband. Can never contact either. I try ringing 999 again and again and can feel terror, and sometimes dreadful anger or complete panic. I cry, I scream and shout and never get through! Recently I have stopped trying to contact my husband. I managed once to reach him but he said he was too busy and I would have to deal with it myself. I woke in a furious temper with him and kicked him while he was still asleep’ (Mrs GS).

The husband here depicts Mrs S’s feelings of not being able to get through’ to her man. This is a common female dream theme, possibly arising from the husband not daring to express emotion or meet his panner with his own feelings.

For Mrs S this is an emergency. Although the dream dramatises it, there is still real frustration, anger, and a break in marital communica­tions.

Example: There were three of us. My husband, a male friend and 1, all nding small white enamel bikes. My husband proceeded slowly, first, with his back to us. Then my friend followed. Suddenly my friend ahead of me turned and gazed fully at me. He gave a glonous smile which lit up the whole of his face. I felt a great sense of well-being surge through me’ (Joan B).

The triangle: the example shows typical flow of feeling towards another male.

The other male here depicts

Joan’s desire to be attractive to other men. This is a danger signal unless one fully acknowledges ihe impulse.

Example: ‘I was with my husband and our three children. About 2 or 3 yards to our right stood my husband’s first wife —she died about a year before I first met him. I remember feeling she no longer minded me being with him, so I put my arms around him from the back, and felt more secure and comfortable with him’ (Mrs NS).

The first wife: the dreamer is now feeling easier about her husband’s first relationship.

The first wife represents her sense of competing for her husband’s affections, even though his ‘first woman’ was dead.

Example: ‘My dead husband came into my bedroom and got into bed with me to make love to me. I was not afraid. But owing to his sexual appetites during my married life with him I was horrified, and resisted him with all my might. On wak­ing I felt weak and exhausted.

The last time he came to me I responded to him and he never came back again. This hap­pened three times.

The last time I don’t think it was a dream. I was not asleep. I think it was his ghost’ (GL). Dead hus­band: in any experience of an apparently psychic nature, we must always remember the unconscious is a great dramatist. It can create the drama of a dream in moments. In doing so it makes our inner feelings into apparently real people and ob­jects outside us. While asleep we lightly dismiss this amazing process as a dream’. When it happens while our eyes are open or we are near waking, for some reason we call it a ghost or psychic event. Yet the dream process is obviously capable of creating total body sensations, emotions, full visual impres­sions, vocalisation—what else is a dream? On the other hand, the dream process is not dealing in pointless imaginations. Many women tend to believe they have little sexual drive, so it is easier for GL to see her drive in the form of her husband. But of course, her husband may also depict how she felt about sex in connection with his ‘sexual appetites’.

It is a general rule, however, that our dream process will dramatise into a past life, or a psychic’ experience, emotions linked with trauma or sexual drive which we find difficult to meet in the present.

Example: ‘I dreamt many times I lost my husband, such as not being able to find the car park where he was waiting, and seeing him go off in the distance. I wake in a panic to find him next to me in bed. These dreams persisted, and then he died quite suddenly. He was perfectly healthy at the time of the dreams and I wonder if it was a premonition of me really losing him’ (Mrs AD). Cannot find husband: many middle aged women dream of ‘losing’ their husband while out with him, perhaps shopping, or walking in a town somewhere. Sometimes the dream ponrays him actually killed. Mrs AD wonders if her dream was a premonition.

It is more likely a form of practising the loss, so it does not come as such a shock.

The greatest shocks occur when we have never even considered the event—such as a young child losing its mother, an event it has never practised, not even in fantasy, so has no inbuilt shock absorbers. As most of us know, men tend to die before women, and this information is in the mind of middle-aged married women. Mrs AD may have uncon­sciously observed slight changes in her husband’s body and behaviour, and therefore readied herself.

Other woman’s husband: one’s own husband, feelings about that man, desire for a non-committed relationship with less responsibility. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Moat

The Tve got a headache’ type of defence against an­other person’s approach to intimacy. See castle under house, buildings. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Night

Example: Three of us were on our way to a lively night out and I suggested a short cut through Richmond Park’ (Jasmine C). In Jasmine’s dream the night depicts her feelings of relaxation, pleasure and sexual encounter. This aspect of night also suggests feeling the absence of the workaday world; time for reflection and being by oneself; intimacy with others; introspection.

Example: ‘It was a very dark night with thunder and light­ning, heavy rain and high winds. I am in a waiting room at Heathrow airport’ (Mrs W). Night in this dream shows a pe­riod of difficult change in the dreamer’s life. It represents a period of darkness or depression, loneliness; difficulties; sometimes negative feelings about old age and death.

Example: ‘I was creeping through a field at night. In dark­ness I and others were trying to accomplish some secret act, rather as spies or underground agents might. I also remember another where I was near a house at night. There was some special reason for getting to the house. Again an “agent” son of feeling’ (Sam K). Sam is experiencing areas of his uncon­scious or unknown self, thus the secrecy, as he probably has hidden something from himself. This aspect of night suggests turning our attention inwards to an extent where we discover insights, memories or mysteries which were previously un­known to us. These can be painful areas of our experience, or very positive and life enhancing realisations. It depicts the times in life when feelings arise from within when we are alone, or in a receptive mood—or go in search of who we are.

Idioms: it’s about time; all in good lime; at one time; do time, for the time being; half the time, gain time, have no time for someone; lean times; time after time, time flies; behind the times; big time. See dark; light; sun. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Tickle

Attempt to release tension, to break down barriers of reserve, prelude to sexual intimacy, sexual pleasure. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Tower

Something we have built or created in our life. As such it can be an outer achievement or erection of inner atti­tudes such as defensiveness, isolation, insularity, or an at­tempt to reach the heights of awareness or recognition. Also male sexuality and drive which may not be expressed satisfac­torily, and thus be the source of aggression towards females and society. This also has the elements of insularity and de­fence. Occasionally heightened awareness, as in the light­house dream of Priestley in the entry religion and dreams.

Example: ‘The Devil was trying to force me to make love to a girl. I wanted to leap off the tower and fly away, but it was high, and I was frightened I would fall’ (Quentin C). Quentin is 15 and facing his emerging drive of love and sex.

The woman in the tower is here his idealised relationship with the opposite sex. Actual intimacy is threatening and he wants to ‘fly’ from it but feels this would be failure.

The Devil is his own life pushing to grow, but felt as threatening. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

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A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences

Bed

Longing for domestic bliss and quiet, also erotic encounters. Often points to sexual problems; if that is the case, the type of bed points to the sexuality of the dreamer. In the I Clung, the bed always stands for intimacy (see #23 “Splitting apart”).

According to Jung, bed is always a place of security and caring, also the symbol of Sleep, and the unconscious.

The place where people are born and die; the symbol of the circle of life.... Little Giant Encyclopedia

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Little Giant Encyclopedia

Close

1- To be close to someone in a dream can mean we are looking for intimacy; or perhaps protection.

To close a door acknowledges the fact that we must make a decision to put the past behind us.

2- We can indicate to ourselves in dreams the fact that we arc emotionally closed within a situation

3- Spiritually to be close to someone is to have empathy with them.... Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

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Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

Family

1- “flic family is the first basic security image that a child has. Often, through circumstances not within that child’s control, that image becomes distorted, and dreams will either attempt to put this image right or will confirm the distortion. Thus we may dream of an argument with a family member, but the interpretation will depend on both the circumstances of the dream and our everyday relationship with that person. All future relationships are influenced by the ones we first develop within the family.

Psychologically the struggle for individuality should take place within the safety of the family unit. This, however, docs not always happen. In dreams we are able to ‘manipulate’ the images of our family members, so that we can work through our difficulties without harming anyone else (It is interesting to note that one person working on his own dreams can have a profound noticeable cffcct on the interactions and unconscious bondings between other members of his family). Almost all of the problems we encounter in life are reflected within the family, so in times of sUess we will dream of previous problems and difficulties that the family has experienced.

The Spiritual Triangle.

A group in which we feel safe.

Since relationships in the family- are so important, dreams containing family members can have extra significance. Some typical dreams are:

A man’s mother being transformed into another woman

A man’s first closc relationship with a woman is with his mother. Depending on the circumstances of the dream, such a transformation can be either positive or negative. It can be a sign of growth for him to realise, through dream, that he can let mother go. This transformation indicates some change in his perception of women (sec Airima).

A woman’s father, brother or lover turning into someone else Similarly, a woman’s first relationship with the male is usually with her father. She must learn to walk away from that relationship in order to progress onto fuller relationships. When she can handle her Animus (See Introduction), she is ready for that transformation.

A man’s brother or a woman’s sister appearing in a dream often represents the Shadow (See Introduction). Often it is easier to project the negative side of our personalities onto members of the family.

If this projection is allowed to continue, it can cause difficulty with family relationships in later life. Often the solution will present itself in dreams to enable us to come to terms with our own projections. “fhe pattern of aggressions between familv members is fairly typical, but oddly is often easier to work through in dreams than in everyday life.

Dreams about the family figure so prominently because most of the conflicts and problems in life are experienced first within that environment.

It is as though a pattern is laid down which, until it is broken willingly, will continue to appear.

Confusion of family members e.g. mother’s face on father’s body suggests that we may be having problems in deciding which parent is most important to us. Family members suffering from injury or trauma or appearing to be distorted in some way may reflect the dreamer’s fear for, or about, that person.

A family member continually appearing in dreams or, conversely, not appearing when expected The relationship with that person (or the dreamer’s concept of that person) needs to be better understood.

Dreaming of an incestuous relationship may indicate that the dreamer has become obsessed in some way with the other person.

The dream has occurred in order to highlight either the importance or the potential danger - of such a relationship.

Dreamer’s parents crushing the dreamer and thus forcing rebellion. This suggests that the dreamer needs to break away from learnt childhood behaviour and develop as an individual.

Dreaming of a parent’s death can also have the same significance. When a parent appears in our own environment, we will have learnt to change roles within the parent/child relationship and perhaps will accept our parents as friends. Parents behaving inappropriately can indicate our need to recognise that they are only human, and not as perfcct as we had first perceived.

Dreaming of rivalry with one parent When a child is first born, it moves through extreme self- involvement to an exclusive relationship, usually with mother. Onlv later docs he or she becomc aware of the need for a different relationship with a third person. Often this relationship causes the child to question his or her own validity as a person. When this question is not resolved successfully it may persist in the dream image of conflict with a parent.

Dreaming of conflict between a loved one and a member of one’s family The dreamer has not fully differentiated between his needs and desire for each person. Learning how to love outside the family is a sign of maturity.

The figure of a family member intruding in dreams suggests that family loyalties can get in the way within the dreamer’s everyday life. Rivalry between siblings in dreams usually harks back to a feeling of insecurity and doubt, possibly as to whether we are loved enough within the family framework.

Individual members and then- position within the family can symbolise the various archetypes. Thus, father can represent the masculine principle and authority; whereas mother represents the nurturing, protective principle. Brother As already stated, a brother can represent both feelings of kinship and of rivalry. In a man’s dream an older brother can represent experience and authority, while a younger brother suggests vulnerability and possibly lack of maturity. In a woman’s dream, a younger brother can represent a sense of rivalry, but also of vulnerability; whether her own or her brother’s.

An older brother can signify her extrovert self.

Daughter When the relationship with a daughter is highlighted in dreams, it often represents the outcome of the relationship between husband and wife. In a woman’s dream, the relationship with the daughter usually suggests a mutually supportive one although rivalry and jealousy can arise and needs to be dealt with. Sometimes this can safely be done in dreams. In a man’s dream his daughter may represent his fears and doubts about his own ability to handle his vulnerability.

Extended family (such as cousins, aunts, uncles)

Members of the extended family usually appear in dreams either as themselves, or as typifying various parts of ourselves which arc recognisible.

Father If the relationship with father has been successful in waking life, the image of father in dreams will be a positive one. Father represents authority and the conventional forms of law and order. In a man’s life father becomes a role model, whether appropriate or not.

It is often only when the individual realises that he is not being true to his own nature that dreams can point the way to a more successful life. In a woman’s life, father is the ‘pattern’ on whom she bases all later relationships. When she appreciates that she longer need use this pattern. she is often able to work out in dreams a more appropriate way to have a mature relationship.

If the relationship with father has been a difficult or negative one, there mav be some resistance to resolving the various conflicts which will have arisen. Often this can be accomplished in dreams. Grandparents Grandparents appearing in dreams can highlight our attitude to them, but also to the traditions and beliefs handed down by them. It could be said that grandparents do not know whether they have clone a good job of raising their children until their sins and daughters have children of their own.

Husband/Live in partner

Crucial within the husband/wife relationship are the wife’s feelings about her own sexuality and intimacy of body, mind and spirit. Her view of herself will have been formed by her connection with her father, and any subsequent partnering will be coloured by that attachment.

If her doubts and fears about validity are not properly expressed, they will surface in dreams about the loss, or death, of her husband. They may also be projected onto other women’s husbands.

Mother A child’s relationship with mother is pivotal in its development. Largely it is the first relationship which the child develops, and should be perceived by the child as a nurturing, caring one.

If this does not happen, fears and doubts may arise. In a man’s life this may result in continually developing dependent relationships with older women, or denying his right to a relationship completely. In a woman’s life, her relationship with her mother will colour all other relationships. She may find herself pushed into nurturing the needy male, or in forming relationships with both men and women which do not satisfv her basic needs. There arc many ways through dreams of working through relationships with mother, and much can be gained by daring to take this step. Provided one has come to terms with this relationship, much material and spiritual success can be achieved.

Sister The sister in dreams usually represents the feeling side of ourselves. VVe have the ability to make links with that side of ourselves through being able to understand our sister’s personality. In a man’s dream if she is older, the sister can represent the potential for persecution, but also of caring.

If she is younger then she can epitomise the more vulnerable side of him. In a woman’s dream if the sister is younger, she can represent rivalry.

If older she stands for capability. Son The son in dreams can signify the dreamer’s need for self- expression and for extroversion. He can also signify parental responsibility. In a mother’s dream he may represent one’s ambitions, hope and potential. In a father’s dream he can highlight unfulfilled hopes and dreams. Wife/Live in partner The wife/husband relationship is based on how the man perceives himself to be.

If he has previously formed a good, if not successful relationship with his mother, he will attempt to prove himself a good husband through his dreams. He will experience potential loss and death of his partner in the same way as he experienced the ‘loss’ of his mother.... Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

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Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

Furniture / Furnishings

1- “fhe furniture which appears in our dreams, particularly if it is drawn to our attention, often shows how we feel about our family and home life, and what attitudes or habits we have developed. It also can give an indication as to how we feel about ourselves.

For instance, dark heavy material would suggest the possibility of depression, whereas brightly painted objects could testify to an upbeat mentality.

2- Sometimes the furniture which appears in a dream can highlight our need for security or stability; particularly if it is recognisable from the past.

Different articles can represent different attitudes:

Bed/mattress This can show exactly what is happening in the subtle areas of our close relationships. We can get an insight into how we really feel about intimacy; and sexual pleasure.

For some people the bed is a place of sanctuary and rest, where they can be totally alone. Carpet Often when carpets appears in a dream we are looking at our emotional links with finance.

The colour of the carpet should also be noted (see Colour). Chair A chair can indicate that we need a period of rest and recuperation. We may need to deliberately take time out, to be open to other opportunities and openings.

Cupboard/Wardrobe

Cupboards and wardrobes may depict those things we wish to keep hidden, but may also depict how we deal with the different roles we must play in life. Table For a table to appear in a dream is often to do with communal activity; and with one’s social affiliations (also see individual entry and Altar).

3- Revered objects.... Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

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Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

Moat

1- A moat is a representation of our defences against intimacy. In dreams we can see for ourselves how we build or dig those enclosures. We can also decide what steps we need to take to remove them.

2- When we need to contain our own emotions we will often create a way of monitoring to whom we need to relate.

A moat can be a symbol for this ability.

3- A moat can be an emotional barrier or defence.... Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

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Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

Restaurant

1- Dreaming of a restaurant or cafe suggests a need for company. We may be fearful of being alone, but equally be afraid of allowing someone to delve too far into our private space. This public space allows for contact but, at the same time, we can control our own level of intimacy.

2- Any place connected with food is to do with our need for emotional sustenance. There is feedback to be received from eating in a public place. Our social needs our met. We mav be conscious of the need for a ‘relationship’ with the place we arc eating at, as much as with the person with whom we are eating.

3- Spiritually a restaurant symbolises our need to belong to a group of people who all have the same habits and perhaps a diversity of beliefs.... Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

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Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

Tickle

1- One of the most difficult things to do either in waking life or when dreaming is to break down the barriers which we all have. Often these are barriers of reserve. In dreams therefore, we sometimes need to perceive bizarre images in order to drive the message home. It depends on whether the dreamer is a tactile person when awake as to the interpretation.

If he or she is tactile, this would indicate there is perhaps a need for humour when dealing with an opportunity.

If they are not, then any approach at intimacy should be made with humour.

2- Tickling in the psychological sense is to lx: treating something lightly. This may be either a situation or person.

For a fisherman, ‘tickling a trout’ would be to coerce it, that is, to persuade it to come towards him. This can also be one of the interpretations in dream work.

3- To be ticklcd in a dream, spiritually, means that we need to approach spirituality with humour to enable us to make the best use of it.... Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

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Ten Thousand Dream Dictionary

Buildings

(see Apartments, Barn, Castle, Church, Monastery, Te?nple)

The condition of the building can reveal the condition of your health, a relationship, or a situation.

What does the building hold? If it is just an empty shell, consider if you’re living superficially, without gaining any real spiritual substance.

Of what is the building constructed? Just like the story of “The Three Little Pigs,” you want your hopes to be based on good foundational material if they’re ever going to materialize in reality.

Are the doors and windows of this building open and accessible? If so, this shows a very open-minded person who may be too exposed. Similarly, a building that appears locked up tight indicates narrow views and large obstacles to intimacy.

What type of building is it? Certain structures carry fairly direct meanings.

For example, hotels, motels, and mobile homes represent temporary conditions, change, movement, and transition, sometimes literally in our living space.... The Language of Dreams

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The Language of Dreams

Metals

(see Copper, Gold, Iron Ore, Silver) Strength and resiliency.

How is the metal used in the dream? Are you building with it, and if so, what? For example, building a wall out of metal represents a very strong obstacle to intimacy.

As with crystals and gems, each specific metal has different symbolism:

Aluminum: flexibility

• Copper: guidance and control

• Flint: durability and utility

• Iron ore: love, safety, and willpower

• Lead: foundations or delays

• Quicksilver: quick responses

• Steel: rigidity, hard-heartedness

• Tin: improved luck... The Language of Dreams

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The Language of Dreams

Oyster

(see Seashell)

Because of the chance of finding a pearl here, a type of treasure dream.

The shell of this creature equates to ainnor or obstacles to intimacy 7 .

Life’s little irritations helping you to develop wisdom and patience. Pearls in an oyster are actually formed due to the irritation in the skin caused by a grain of sand or dirt.... The Language of Dreams

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The Language of Dreams

Wolf

(see Animals, Lycanthropy)

Tilings that you fear about yourself, a situation, or others, and have been unwilling to face directly.

Some type of obscured threat (e.g., the “wolf in sheep’s clothing”). In Freudian analysis, this threat is construed as sexual intimacy.

The loss of innocence and naive outlooks.

In fables, the emblem of evil craftiness that threatens to devour all goodness.

AJchemically, a symbol of duality; the light and dark aspects of all things.

Howling at the moon: Discovering and announcing a secret alliance or treacherous plan. Alternatively, acknowledging the lunar / feminine aspect of self.... The Language of Dreams

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The Language of Dreams

Bed

As the place where you rest, sleep, and make love, the bed may point to concerns and feelings about resting or sexual intimacy. Having numerous people in bed with you may signify’ that there are many personality aspects or patterns from others influencing how you feel about intimacy A woman in bed with her father may signify that she views her intimate partner as a continuation o: ” her own father-daughter relationship. This connection does not necessarily reflect sexual abuse.... Ariadne's Book of Dream

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Ariadne's Book of Dream

Double Bed

Entering a room with a double bed may point to your desire for sexual intimacy in a committed relationship. It may present your concerns about your relationship as well as your sexual preferences.... Ariadne's Book of Dream

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Ariadne's Book of Dream

Fireplace

A hearth or fireplace in a dream represents a place of warmth, comfort, and passion. It may point to the inner fire or sexual energy, which warms the soul and attracts intimacy.

Lighting a fire in the fireplace may signify preparation for romance.... Ariadne's Book of Dream

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Ariadne's Book of Dream

Kiss

Receiving a kiss from an admirer may indicate your desire for intimacy and love from someone special.

A kiss may also represent a special blessing.... Ariadne's Book of Dream

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Ariadne's Book of Dream

Lamp

A lamp brings light into a room and thus points to the illumination of concepts or ideas or anything hidden. In the bed- JOuni, it may illuminate issues about intimacy. In the kitchen, it may light up your heart.... Ariadne's Book of Dream

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Ariadne's Book of Dream

Love Seat

A love seat in a room represents a cozy place for two.

A love seat is a comfortable seat for intimate sharing and conversation. It may also express a desire for intimacy or compensate for loneliness.... Ariadne's Book of Dream

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Ariadne's Book of Dream